Jeremy took this photo of me and Toby last July in Bali, on my iPhone. When I saw it, it instantly became my favourite photo to date of the two of us together. I wanted to share it today because it’s a good opportunity to tell you some of my (very passionate) thoughts about mums being in photos.
There are always reasons why we might not want to be photographed. I don’t need to spell them out; we all know what they are. I’ve been guilty of almost all of them myself, including actually saying self deprecating things out loud in front of my son!
Mostly mums are the ones behind the camera, and mostly we’re focused on capturing our kids so that we don’t forget how cute they were at each and every stage of their growing up (do you relate?). But we forget that WE are just as important a part of them growing up as they are. We don’t even think about the fact that if we were IN the photos with our kids that those photos will be treasured by OUR KIDS for the rest of their lives. We overlook the fact that when our kids look at us, they don’t see our flaws… all they see is the most beautiful woman in the world who they adore with every fibre of their being! And it doesn’t even occur to us that in ten or twenty years time WE will look at our present selves so differently to the way we do right now… and we will wonder why we were so hard on ourselves, and be overwhelmed with gratefulness that the moment was captured. Because it is exquisitely beautiful, flaws and all. It’s your precious, precious life.
Over the last seven years, I have heard all the reasons and excuses in the world to not be in photos. And they make me want to cry. Since making family portraits my career, I’ve learnt beyond all doubt how none of that matters, and how important it is to actually be in the photos. I know first hand how good it is for your kids. I’ve slowly gotten over myself and my misgivings when it comes to photos with my son because of how the significance of those photos has deepened with time for both of us. And in building my photography business and finding my own truths in how to speak to families and sell images, I’ve started seeing photos of my own childhood in a different way. It defines my approach to taking family photos. And how I feel about mums being in photos.
Being a mother teaches us unconditional love. Having a mother teaches us unconditional love. Your kids are everything to you. And you are everything to your kids. Photos of that ‘everything’ are the most special photos you can ever take (or have taken for you). If you haven’t already, please get your phone out today and take a photo with your kids. Or your mum.
Katie xo
